When it is nowhere near the person’s actually birthday!
So I went to my friend Erika’s 29.758904th birthday party today. Why a 29.758904th birthday party, you ask? Well, Erika’s birthday is in December1 and having a birthday in December is sucky, what with everyone celebrating the holidays instead. So Erika’s husband, Paul, decided that she really should get a birthday party where it was all about her. Also, it makes the “surprise” aspect of the surprise party that much more surprising when the party takes place months before your birthday. Paul is pretty damn good at surprises – we are talking about a man who proposed by reverse engineering a Kinder-Surprise Egg to put the ring inside. His ploy to get Erika to his sister’s house, which is where the party took place, was that he told Erika that it was a surprise party for his sister, who actually does have a birthday in September. It’s really the perfect ploy, because you can tell the person who is to be surprised whatever crazy thing you want – like “we have to be there exactly at 4 – we can’t be late because we don’t want to ruin the surprise for my sister!” – because said person thinks they are going to a surprise party for someone else, so it all makes sense. We are all really lucky that Paul uses his scheming skills for good and not for evil!
Here’s the card I made for Erika, because I just couldn’t seem to find one that had the right age on it: