Kitties Report, Q2
This report covers Q2 of FY2014 for Snow Industries, Cat Division.
Asset acquisition was minimal in Q2, including only one item: a food dish with a timer-released lid, which allows food to be put out for the cats in a sealed compartment, the lid of which opens at a pre-set time. This asset was acquired since the CEO spent time traveling away from headquarters during Q2 and the timer-released lid allowed her to pay a cat sitter to attend to the cats only once a day, instead of twice a day. Thus, this asset was a significant cost saving acquisition.
Primary operating expenses in Q2 comprised food and cat sitting services, due to the aforementioned CEO trips. Food products were diversified by trying out some high quality, grain-free dry food that could safely be left in the aforementioned timer-released dish (as leaving out wet food for 12 hours didn’t seem like a good idea). Dry food will be reserved for only such times as food needs to be left out in the new dish, much to the dismay of the cats, who lose their little kitty minds over this crunchy food. They have informed management that they will be consulting with their union rep on this matter.
Expenses lumped together in the “supplies” category the Q1 report were broken down into the more precise categories of “food,” “litter”, and “equipment”1, as the accountant felt guilty about her lazy accounting. See Figure 1 for a breakdown of expenses by category for the first half of FY2014 (i.e., both Q1 and Q2).
Developments at Snow Industries
In keeping with our luxury brand, Snow Industries relocated headquarters from rented space to owned space in a prime sub-penthouse location. The expense of this purchase was not included in the financials above because (a) the total would overwhelm all other expenses, making the graphs much less interesting to look at, and (b) the accountant is far too lazy to do the amortization calculations.
The process of moving provided significant excitement for CATpital investment Watson and CATpital investment Crick, mostly in the form of boxes, but also in the form of lying on the moving blanket that the movers accidentally left behind. See Figures 2 to 14.
Another highlight of Q2 was a visit from Grandma and Great Auntie Eileen, who spoiled the kitties with love and toys. Toys, I might add, that the kitties completely ignored until Grandma and Great Auntie Eileen went home, at which point they started playing with them. Especially at night. Especially the ones with bells in them.
The teeth-related risk described in the Q1 report came to fruition with the destruction of a perfectly good, brand new pair of headphones (see Figure 15). Though security footage from headquarters did not reveal the culprit, the Security Department has their suspicions as to who was at fault. To avoid future property damage, it has been suggested that perhaps the CEO shouldn’t leave her headphones with their delicious looking cord poking out of her purse on the counter where a curious kitty might go looking.
The Marketing Department has been prototype testing a variety of cat nicknames, mostly because that’s what happens when you live alone with only cats to talk to. Some nicknames are generally applied to both cats equally (e.g., Muffin, Munchkin, Destructo-Kitty), whereas some are specific to a given cat (For Watson, they include but are not limited to: Dr. Watson, Big W, Watskipoo, Brother Cat, Kitchen Cat2; for Crick, they include but are not limited to Dr. Crick, Cricky, Crickskipoo, Crickerella, Sister Cat, Office Cat3. Future testing of cat nicknames is required to determine the best fit with Snow Industries overall branding strategy.
Return on Investment
ROI, in the form of cuddles, cuteness, and love, continues to be strong through Q2. The Finance Department remains baffled as to how to appropriately monetize these returns, as numbers big enough to represent the return do not appear to exist. Forecasts continue to anticipate ongoing positive returns for the foreseeable future.
- “Equipment” comprises such items as toys, dishes, and scratching posts. [↩]
- Watson loves to watch me when I’m working in the kitchen. [↩]
- Crick loves to hang out with me when I’m in the office. [↩]