Not To Be Trusted With Knives

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12 Bars of Christmas 2010

Or should I say, the 11 bars and *barf*. Being that this was my 5th years of 12 Bars, I decided to do something special. Like puking at Coppertank. Because I’m classy like that. But I’m getting ahead of myself!

Day 167 - 12 Bars of Christmas Outfit

The very first year that I went to 12 Bars, I managed to drink a drink at every bar. We are talking 12 drinks in 6.5 hours. Remember that I’m 5 ft tall – it’s pretty much inhuman that I managed to do that. And I’ve never been able to repeat that feat. Usually by around bar #7, I’m done. I drink water at the remaining bars and thus enjoy a nice time at the remaining bars, including the unofficial 13th bar we go to after the 12 bars are completed. But I always feel like such a failure, because I know that I did it that one time1! This year, however, I was feeling fine at bar #7. I even remembering saying to someone2, “I’m usually so done by Nevermind! But I’m feeling fine.” Fast forward four bars, however, and it all went downhill fast! I went to the bathroom, thinking that I just had pee, but as soon as I walked in the door, I realized that it was another bodily function that I needed to do – puke. And puke I did, right into the (very well-placed) garbage can. Some lovely people3 brought me some water and a chair to sit on.  And then apparently, though I do not remember this, I went back to the table where other merry 12 Bars-ers were… and proceeded to puke in a cup. Because I am just that awesome. And then Erika kindly put me in a cab to Linda’s4. I managed to get to Linda’s without puking again, for which the cabby was very grateful5, but then I puked again when I got there. This whole thing becomes even more pathetic when you realize that we start 12 Bars at 3 pm, so it was all of 9:30 at this point! Fortunatley, I had a very good long sleep at Linda’s, waking up briefly to have some water which I immediately puked up6, but other than that sleeping straight through ’til about 10 a.m.

I took some photos, but mostly just of my drinks and honestly even looking at the photos of the drinks as I uploaded them made me a little queasy, so you’ll have to just check them out over on Flickr if you want to see them.  But I do want to show you this one photo:

Guy in a beaver suit and someone who is apparently supposed to be GSP

These guys walked into Elwood’s Gargoyles7 while we were there.  Naturally, I took their photo and then ran over and asked “Why are you dressed like a beaver?”  “Because I just got my Canadian citizenship,” he said, in his British account.  So I turned to the other guy and asked, “And why are you dressed as a ninja?”  “I’m not a ninja, I’m supposed to be GSP.” My blank stare then elicited, “He’s a fighter. A Canadian fighter.” I think I’ll have to take the ninja’s word on that one.  Later another guy, dressed in a track suit and black face joined then. Seriously, black face. “Who are you supposed to be?” I asked. To which he replied, “Ben Johnson.” Seriously, I couldn’t even make this shit up.

  1. Yes, I do realize that it’s very silly to think of consuming 12 drinks as anything akin to “success” []
  2. though I have no idea who I was talking to []
  3. again, I don’t know who most of them were, but thank you guys for looking after me! []
  4. where I was staying for the night []
  5. “It costs me $200 if you puke in my cab!”” he said, repeatedly []
  6. puking up pure water is a very weird sensation []
  7. at least, I think it was Elwood’s []

8 Responses to 12 Bars of Christmas 2010

  1. Courtney-O says:

    Oh man. Those nights are NOT GOOD. Hope you’re feeling all recovered by now!

  2. Darren says:

    Here’s the weird part: you never saw those guys. You imagined it in your drunken state, brought out the laptop, Photoshopped up that photo, and stuck it on your camera. Weird, eh?

  3. Darren says:

    Also, that is more puking than I’ve done in the last decade.

  4. Rebecca says:

    GPS = Georges St. Pierre. He’s a UFC fighter from Montreal and was a coach on this season’s The Ultimate Fighter. Aaaaand that’s revealing way too much about my TV viewing habits. (I don’t watch it, but there was a Star Wars marathon on Spike last weekend, so I saw the commercial – repeatedly.)

    And yes, puking water is an uncomfortable situation, having done it myself last weekend (stupid migraines!)

  5. Beth says:

    @Courtney – Yup, all recovered. Except I played hockey last night (I know! I’m crazy!) and my shoulder really hurts today. Probably from when I accidentally crashed into the goalie.

    @Darren – In the last *decade*? Perhaps there is something to the whole “not drinking” idea.

    @Rebecca – Is GSP a real Canadian icon? Because apparently that was what these guys were going for (though really, Ben Johnson??)

  6. Erika says:

    HOORAY!!! You are alive! I felt mildly responsible and more than a little concerned when I poured you into the cab.

    You should have had the chow mein!! We’ve talked about the magic powers of the Mandala Chow Mein. It is truly the secret to 12 Bar Success.

  7. Erika says:

    PS The Beaver and Ninja were in Gargoyles. And they were truly amazing.

  8. Beth says:

    @Erika – Omg, I totally should have had the chow mein! What was I thinking?? I’m sorry that I made you feel concerned and responsible when you poured me into a cab. When really, the responsibility is all mine because I didn’t have the chow mein!!!

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