Not To Be Trusted With Knives

Aunty Blogging

July 9, 2011 by Beth

No trip to Ontario would be complete without a blog posting about the hilarious things my niece said ((My nephew, of course, is too young to say much of anything, though when he yells it often sounds uncannily like he’s yelling “HEY!”, which, coming from a four week old baby, is hilarious enough.)). Of course, since I’ve left writing this blog posting for soooo long after my actual trip, I’ve forgotten 99% of the hilarious things she said, but I figure I should record the few things that I do remember. In addition to Bobby Orr the Bunny, my niece also said the following:

• Being the visiting aunt, I brought presents for the kids. For Thomas, I brought a baby-sized Canucks jersey ((I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – I would totally have a baby just so I can dress them in baby-sized Canucks clothing. ADORABLE!)), which was all well and good when I left Vancouver, confident that by the time I met up with my family at our family reunion, the Canucks would be the Stanley Cup champions. Of course, we all know how that went. So when I gave the jersey to my sister, I said, “Now Thomas can look like a little rioter!” and, without missing a beat, my niece said, “Now he can look like a loser at hockey!” I think someone has been talking to her grandpa!
• The first two days that I walked Madeline to school, we were late. One of was the Monday after the family reunion and I think Madeline was just exhausted from the weekend, so we just weren’t able to get her to wake up and she ended up sleeping so late that she missed her first subject (Drama class). I walked her to school and we had to go to the office for her to sign in late, something she’d never had to do before. On the Tuesday I was in Guelph for my guest lecture, so I didn’t walk her to school, but when I walked her to school on the Wednesday, we are again late, but just slightly, as we were walking up to the school as the bell rang. I think it was probably due to me being there and messing up the normal morning routine. So on the Thursday, I was bound and determined that we would *not* be late for school! So it’s Thursday morning and Madeline wakes me up. “Good morning, Aunt Beth!” she says. And I say “Good morning, Madeline. What time is it?”, to which she replies, “8:42.” Cue Aunt Beth’s heart attack. “Ah! Don’t you have to be at school at ten to 9?” I fly out of bed and down the hall, “Hey Nancy, are you up?” And she replies, “Yeah, why?” “It’s 8:42!” I say. And she replies “Uh, it’s 6:51.” I have no idea if Madeline misread the clock or if this was just a really good scheme to get Aunt Beth to wake up!
• My sister asked Madeline to do something, and Madeline replied, “You’re not the boss of me.” My sister informed her that, as her mother, she is, in fact, the boss of her. To which Madeline replied, “No, my brain is the boss of me.” Nancy’s reply, “Yeah, well I’m the boss of your brain, at least until you are 18. And, really, Grandma is the boss of me still and I’m 35.” Madeline’s answer, “I think Aunty Molly is the boss of all of us!” Madeline met Aunty Molly – who is actually her Great, Great Aunty Molly – at the family reunion and, at age 90, Aunty Molly was the oldest person there. Madeline seemed to have taken a particular liking to her!

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