Not To Be Trusted With Knives

The Internet’s leading authority on radicalized geese


Review: Copper Moon Pinot Grigio

Copper Moon Pinot GrigioIt takes like nothing. Seriously.

I recently was looking to buy a bottle of wine and thought I’d try something I hadn’t tried before. I wanted a white and considered buying my favourite one – Prospect Winery’s Ogopogo’s Lair Pinot Grigio. But then I thought, “Oh no, let’s try something different!” Not too long ago, I’d had a very nice wine from Copper Moon – I think it was a Malbec, but I wouldn’t swear to that. Anyhoo, my wine buying logic went thusly: I like Copper Moon’s Malbec and I like Prospect Winery’s Pinot Grigio, so why not give Copper Moon’s Pinot Grigio a try. Seemed like sound logic, right? Wrong! Copper Moon’s Pinot Grigio tastes like NOTHING!

The lesson here, kids, is to never try something new. Or maybe that you should try new things, as long as they aren’t Copper Moon’s Pinot Grigio. Or perhaps the lesson is that you only should buy wines named after lake monsters. Yes, I think it’s that last one.


I’ve Got Mail!

I arrived home from work today to find this waiting for me:

Congratulations card from my niece for LG4CF!

So first of all, it’s a piece of mail – and I love mail! And it’s from my niece – and I love my niece! And it references my world record holding status – and you know that I love my world record holding status!

What could be in this package???

Holding my congratulations card from my niece for LG4CF!

As it turned out, it was a card congratulating me on my 10-day long hockey game. With pictures of Queen Amidala on the front, naturally1.

Congratulations card from my niece for LG4CF - with Queen Amadala on the front

Inside the card:

Congratulations card from my niece for LG4CF!

And not only was there a card, but my niece also made me a ring!

Congratulations card from my niece for LG4CF!

Congratulations card from my niece for LG4CF! - and a ring

Congratulations card from my niece for LG4CF! - and a ring!

Luckiest. Aunt. Ever!

  1. My niece just happens to be on a Star Wars kick at the moment []


Did You Donate To My Fundraising for the LG4CF?

DonationsWhen I first started fundraising for the Longest Game, the online system used for donations wasn’t equipped to provide us with the names of the people who were donating. Once we got an updated system, names of donors were published immediately on the fundraising page ((If the donor gave permission, that is!)) So while I know the majority of the people who donated – and I love you all more than you can know! – there are some people who donated who I just have no idea who they are!

My fundraising page lists “Anonymous Pledges prior to July 15, 2011” of “$587.60” – these are the donations received on the older system that didn’t give us names of donors. I know some of that money was from Sarah and some was from Dan, and some was from another friend (who wants to be anonymous), because I talked to all of them about it, and that some of it was from the, um, Electronic Device Buying Party for Charity that I held at my friend Lianna’s place. But I don’t know where the rest of it came from! Also, on the newer fundraising page, there is an “Anonymous,” a “DG,” and a “Vera Hossack” – I don’t know who these are either!

So, if you happened to donate some money to me and don’t see your name listed on my fundraising page (or you aren’t my “Fuck Yeah” donor – I know who *you* are!), please let me know (you can email me or use my contact page, if you aren’t comfortable with talking about your donation in the comments section)! I want to send a special thank you to all my fabulous donors and I can’t do that if I don’t know who you are. Also – you rock!

Image Credit: Posted by Matthew Burpee on Flickr.


What All The Cool Kids Will Be Doing On September 27th

My friend Dr. Erika is giving a public lecture as part of the Café Scientifique series of public lectures:

Our next café will happen on Tuesday September 27 at the Railway Club (579 Dunsmuir Street) at 7:30pm. Our speaker that evening will be Erika Eliason, an expert on Pacific salmon migration who has been featured on the UBC Public Affairs webpage. Her talk that evening will be:

Pacific Salmon and Climate Change 

Every year, millions of Pacific salmon return from the ocean to the Fraser River to perform their upriver, adult spawning migration. Pacific salmon typically return to spawn in the same stream where they were born. This has resulted in many geographically and genetically distinct populations. In recent years, warm river temperatures have been associated with high mortality during the upriver spawning migration, raising clear conservation concerns. My research is focused on understanding why salmon die when the water gets too warm and how different populations vary in their susceptibility to warm temperatures.

We hope to see you there!

-Your Café Sci Vancouver Organizers (

It will be everything you ever wanted to know about Pacific Salmon and Climate Change. Be there are be square.


Leaving Las Edmonton

I’m currently sitting in the Edmonton airport, awaiting my trip home. Something about being in airports compels me to write blog postings. Don’t really have much to say1, but yet I feel the need to blog!

A few random thoughts:

  • Edmonton airport, like many an airport that I’ve been to, is seriously insufficient when it comes to electrical outlets. Given that my iPhone’s battery lasts about three text messages these days, this is a serious problem for me. Thus, I find myself sitting on the floor next to the bathroom a few gates away from my gate – the only place I could find an outlet – and it seems that every time an announcement comes on the PA system, someone runs the super loud hand dryer in the bathroom and I can’t hear what the announcement is. I really hope they aren’t paging me.
  • I got randomly selected from the security lineup for a hand swab. They pulled me out of the long lineup, gave me the hand swab – which took like 5 seconds – and then put me right up to the front of the line, saving me a good 10 minutes of waiting. So, yeah, I’m not complaining about that.
  • I forgot to mention in my posting yesterday that Katie’s upgraded suite, in addition to having the free wine & cheese, had a Keurig single-cup coffee maker, so after our delicious wine and delicious cheese, we had delicious coffee and the delicious dark chocolate that I just so happened to bring with me.
  • When I left for Edmonton, I had not yet found the energy to unpack from the Longest Game, so my living room looked like an RV had exploded into it. I’m really hoping the Cleaning Fairy showed up and my place will be spotless when I get home. There is a Cleaning Fairy, right?
  • Dan and Rick are spending this weekend in Montreal. I am extremely jealous!
  1. The workshop I was at was chalk full of information and thought-provoking goodness for me, but would most likely bore you to tears, so I shall not talk about it here []


More On My Trip To Edmontonia

So today was a full-day of workshopping, which was jammed packed with information and so my brain is very full! I had to give a short presentation on my project, which seems to have been well-received – so that was good.

After the workshopping, I went for a walk with my colleague, Katie, who is attending this workshop with me and who also happens to be from Edmonton. She showed me the Parliament building and the river valley – much prettier than the view from my hotel room. The hotel we are staying at does free wine & cheese tastings in the evening, so of course we went to that. Then we went off in search of dinner, but the couple of places we checked out either didn’t have anything we wanted to eat, were kind of crappy inside, or were crazily priced, so we ended up just going to the hotel restaurant, where we had some delicious wild mushroom ravioli with asparagus!

But even better than that was the free wine and cheese we got because the hotel was overbooked and when Katie tried to check in yesterday, they had no room for her. So they put her up in a sister hotel down the street yesterday and today put her into a fancy pants upgraded suite and gave her a bottle of wine and a delicious plate of cheese:

Complementary Wine & Cheese


And lucky me, I got to enjoy said bottle of wine and said plate of cheese with Katie, and I wasn’t even inconvenienced with an overbooked room!

But now it’s late and I need to get to bed for another full day of workshopping tomorrow!



Just a quick posting tonight, because I’m in Edmonton, which is one hour in the future compared to Vancouver and thus, it’s one hour closer to bedtime! I have an early morning tomorrow – breakfast at 7:30 a.m., workshop starts at 8 a.m. – and I need to get a good night’s sleep so I’m all ready to absorb the new ideas and meet all the cool new people!

My impressions of Edmonton so far:

  • It’s very flat here. And it reminds me of Fredericton for some reason1.
  • There were hotties in my hotel lobby. And hotties on the street. And they were all very smiley!
  • Had dinner at the Sicilian Pasta Kitchen. Delicious!
The hotel I’m staying in is pretty nice, though it doesn’t have a hot tub. I don’t understand the point of building a hotel without a hot tub. It should be against the law, really.
Also, when I was checking out the room when I first got here, I noticed the “Refreshment Centre” menu. I like to check that sort of stuff out – not because I intend to drink anything from the mini-bar – I’m way too cheap for that! – but because I like to see how insane the prices are. But something different caught my eye on this one:

Refreshment Centre Menu

Look near the bottom on the right hand side. Condom tin – $7!

This, of course, lead to me wonder how many condoms were in said tin. So, of course, I looked through the basket of chocolate bars, golf tees, and other “refreshments” until I found the tin. And I think it gave me my answer:

the condom tin

That’s one hellava expensive condom! That better be some damn fine sex, is all I can say.

Also, the plant in my room is rather phallic:

This plant is phallic

  1. Probably the river and the bridges over said river []


So While I’m Breaking All My Blog Rules….

Yesterday I mentioned that there are two things I don’t blog about. Well, apparently breaking the first rule yesterday made the second rule lonely, because I feel the need to inform the interwebs that Dr. Beth, after a brief sojourn, is back on the market! That’s right folks. It’s the news you have been waiting for! Are you made of awesome and have been silently pining away for me? Now is your chance!

A limited time offer! Act now while supplies last!


You can just call me the A.W.E.S.O.M.E. P.I.!

When asked what my blog is about, I usually find it easier to say what it’s not about. “I blog about everything except work and boys”1. Today, I’m making an exception to one of those rules – because really, rules were made to be broken, right?

So what is it that’s sooo important that I *just* have to blog about? Well, it’s a little thing called a “research grant.” A research grant that I won with my very own science-y brain thoughts, which I put to paper, along with a stellar team of colleagues2. The extra cool thing is – I’m the principal investigator! And I get to hire a research assistant! And do all sorts of fun research-y things! And I may or may not have written the title of my grant in such a way that the acronym spells A.W.E.S.O.M.E. Because, you know, it seemed like the thing to do.

Of course, getting a research grant is not all just fun and games. With great research grants comes great responsibility. My first responsibility is to fly to Edmonton on Wednesday to go to a workshop to meet other grantees and the funding agency and learn cool things to make my research project even awesomer than it already is! And then I come back, finalize my research plan and get researching! So exciting!

Did I ever mention how much I love my job?

  1. I mean, I blog about hockey hotties and suchlike, but not about actual boys that I actually date in my actual personal life. []
  2. I’ve actually known about the grant for some time now, but I wasn’t able to publicly announce it until all the ducks were lined up in a neat little row  – things like getting research ethics approval from my organization (You’ll be happy to know that I’ve been certified as ethical now!). So I’ve been bursting at the seams to be able to tell all y’all my big news! []


And the regular season begins!

It’s been almost a week since the game ended and since I have magical healing powers, my blisters and abrasions were mostly under control, so I decided that I would, in fact, play in this afternoon’s season opener for the Coquitlam hockey team. (My Burnaby hockey team’s season opener was the day after the LG4CF ended, so there was *no way* I was going to be playing in that one!)

It was a bit unusual getting back into playing in a real hockey game – I had to remember that I could go all out because there were two full lines, so I wouldn’t have to wait for 15 minutes before my next chance to get off the ice happened. I also had to remind myself that it was OK to block a shot – something I didn’t do in the LG4Cf because it wasn’t worth the risk of injury1. And mostly, it was very weird not to have sandwiches, granola bars and bananas on the bench. And I was *so* hungry!

Anyhoo, those 243 hours of practice must have done me some good because I scored a goal in tonight’s game! It was a lovely goal, if I do say so myself – I was parked in the doctor’s office and ready to shovel in the rebound when my linemates made some fancy moves to get the puck on net.

On a less happy note, one of our players had to be taken off the ice on a stretcher – probable concussion. It’s so awful to see that happen – I really hope she’s OK!

  1. Of course, my shin, which I used to block a shot in the game today, disagrees with me. []