Not To Be Trusted With Knives

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A few random things

  • Remember how my couch cloned a pen?  While my desk at work is now in on the act – where once there was a single blue highlighter, now there are TWO:

IMG_4945 by you.

Seriously, I have no memory of taking two blue highlighters from the supply closest. Yet there are two blue highlighers on my desk!

  • Although I suppose it’s possible that it wasn’t the desk, but rather the new computer who is doing the cloning.  The new computer who I’ve named Chloe after Chloe O’Brian on 24:

my new desk & computer by you.

  • Chloe has been giving me some trouble.  I got her just more than a week ago and for the first week and a day I had her, she wouldn’t load my roaming profile.  After countless phone calls to I.T. and a process that was complicated by the fact that the email name change1 I applied for came through in the middle of all this, the problem was finally fixed… and somehow my email can no longer receive emails from people outside the organization.  I think Chloe may be possessed.
  • I may have bought two pairs of shoes yesterday.  It may be a bad thing that I discovered a Payless Shoe Store right next door to my office building.

sandals by you.IMG_4961 by you.

  • There are about 50 billion little green flying bugs that appear to have taken up residence in the bushes next to the door to my apartment.  They attack me every time I enter or leave my place. They don’t bite – they just fly at me.  It’s very weird.
  • 9 times out of 10 when I intend to type “interested,” I type “interesting” instead.  “I am interesting in getting some information from you about your program” or “I am interesting in applying for the position of scientist/social engineer/model with your company.” I think, deep down, I just think I’m interesting.
  • As you may have noticed, Smart cars are very small.  Like, they pretty much don’t have any hood beyond the front windshield, and there’s no trunk beyond the back window. Yet when I’m trying to park the car, I always think I’m really, really close to the car in front or behind me (when I’m actually several feet away from it) because I’m used to regular cars where the hood does extend further out.  My friend Jen B. coined a term for this: phantom hood syndrome.
  • Only in Vancouver will you find something like this:

hippie chips by you.

1I was originally assigned an email address with my real first name, Mary, in it. But since I’ve never, ever, ever gone by Mary, no one would ever find me in the directory with that name and it would cause no end of problems, so I submitted an application to have my email account changed to say “Beth” instead.

5 Responses to A few random things

  1. Demonweed says:

    I thought I had outgrown it, but the grin I presently sport suggests otherwise. In my years as an undergraduate slacker and National Public Radio board op/announcer, I spent many evenings spinning classical vinyl while snacking on cheese and crackers with wine. Well, okay, I took the job too seriously for that, but I did spend many hours consuming cheese, crackers, and grape juice from a small table just outside the broadcast studio. The point of my ramble is that I took a ridiculous amount of amusement from Red Oval Farms’s (apparently now Nabisco’s) logo for my cracker of choice . . .

    http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/513-MkaakrL._SL500_AA280_PIbundle-12,TopRight,0,0_AA280_SH20_.jpg

    I still can’t decide if that is more or less subtle than “Hippie Chips.” Either way, reading this entry leaves me suddenly pining for a chance to lounge red-eyed through a stirring Stravinsky or Dvorak performance channeled into a significant FM transmitter by my own hand.

  2. Stacia says:

    I love those shoes. I need to get to payless!

  3. Kalev says:

    So, awesome term that Jen coined.

    If you didn’t want trouble with your computer, you shouldnta named her Chloe after the 24 character. Like really, what were you expecting? A nice, meek computer? Everyone knows Chloe will tase you if you look at her funny. (I think that scene is my favourite of 24 EVAAAAR!)

    And… maybe if you were less interesting, the disgusting bugs wouldn’t want to fly into you so much. 😛

    Also, perhaps you should set up Mary Snow as your evil twin. Like, when you do something bad (and c’mon, we know it’s just a matter of time before you flip out and [attempt to] run someone over with your new car), you can be like, “Oh no, that wasn’t me… that was MARY Snow. I’m Dr. Beth Snow, Ph.D., OC, Sr., Jr., Esquire the First. So you must be mistaken… it was my evil twin sister Mary.”

  4. Beth says:

    Yes, I’m so the type to flip out and try to run someone over with my car. Do you know what kind of damage that would do to my beloved Smart?

  5. Sarah says:

    Does your computer have Asperger’s? Because as much as I LOVE Chloe, I swear she has Aspie’s. So very, very blunt.

    I remember that in high school, your plan was that everyone in Uni would call you Mary (since they’d hear that name first). I am so glad that plan didn’t catch on. And on the day of your defence, when that support staff woman wished you good luck using your real first name was the strangest moment of the day for me.

    It’s like at our wedding, when I said my vows to “David”. I NEVER call him that, and I had the the nagging feeling that I was marrying some random!

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