Why Do I Look Like I Was Bitten By A Vampire With Bad Aim?

So, yesterday when I got out of the shower, I noticed this1:

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I have no freaking idea what it’s from!

I also have a bruise on my inner thigh from getting it with some chick’s stick in my hockey game on Wednesday, but I’m refraining from taking a photo of that. I wouldn’t want to sully my usually high class blog with such a tawdry thing.

  1. It actually looks worse today, but I don’t have time to take a picture as I’m writing this up super quickly and have to run out the door to hockey now. []

22 Replies to “Why Do I Look Like I Was Bitten By A Vampire With Bad Aim?”

  1. If I had a bruise on my inner thigh, I’d totally post a picture of it. But I’m not nearly as classy as you 🙂

    Also, are they actual bites? Perhaps bed bugs? Seriously – they are becoming a huge problem.

  2. I still say it’s hockey, even delayed-reaction hockey, because hockey is the devil.

    But yeah, bug bites was that next thing I thought of, given you went for a run. In Slurrey, where the bugs are probably just as classy as its inhabitants.

  3. It’s not a bed bug bite, or any other type of bite, as far as I can tell, because bites usually have a little bump where the actual bite happened, and these are more like abrasions. But I haven’t been doing anything, um, abrasive lately. Nor have I worn any new jewelry nor any new hockey gear.

    @Kalev – Um, how does going for a run relate to bed bugs? Unless you think “going for a run” is a euphemism (in which case, my blog would be FAR more exciting than it currently is).

    I think the only possible conclusion is that Rick is correct and I have, in fact, been bitten by a vampire. A vampire with abrasive teeth and bad aim.

  4. This should be a simple case to solve. Be on the lookout for any vampires participating in long distance running events and/or with a passion for hockey that stands out even against Canada’s high background level of passion for hockey. No doubt the drink was at the top end of the scale in terms of imparting energy. Let’s just hope it is an enduring high so that the drinker of blood is not driven to inflict further blemishes.

    As a serious aside, I had an experience with bedbugs while traveling a few years back. Initially the bites were not at all raised or bumpy. They looked much like those spots, save for occurring as a trio along my stomach and being much darker in color. A couple of days after the incident, each bite did rise to a subtle bump; but that morning I clearly observed flat crimson blotches that were slightly sore to the touch. I have no ironclad evidence that bedbugs were the culprit, but I thought it was a reasonable inference on awaking with a line of three red marks after taking my slumber at lodgings of dubious quality.

  5. I think I have discovered the culprit and it is not, in fact, bugs of any kind (bed or otherwise). I put on one of my necklaces and discovered that it lays *exactly* where those two marks are. It’s not a new necklace, so I’m not sure why I just now started to react to it, but, like I said, the marks are *exactly* where that necklace touches me. So it looks like Sarah was right!

  6. I was hoping for vampire but if it is a reaction to the necklace you could try painting it with clear nailpolish. The necklace not the vampire bites.

  7. Good call. I’ll paint it with clear nailpolish and then wait until the vampire bites go away before I wear it again and hopefully that will fix it!

  8. Oh my gosh! I have almost the exact same thing on my arm, but it’s slightly bloodied! I don’t believe in vampires, but I found it on my arm today and Google searched it to find this…
    I’m kinda creeped out actually, because I’m unusually tired…

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